I've been really into Native American culture and spirituality lately. Mostly healing techniques and power/totem animal studies. I've always been into the culture since I was little, but I never studied too much about it.The culture fascinates me and I can't wait to learn more about it. I've been working on power/totem animals for a while now, and I'm finding it kind of difficult to find my own. I do notice certain animals from time to time that try to grab my attention, and I'll work with them for a while, and then they disappear. I'm not sure why that is. I suppose that's the natural cycle of power animals- only coming to you when it's necessary, and then onto the next. It would be nice to finally have a totem animal that I can call my own. I find myself stressing out about it, even though I know I shouldn't. I don't feel particularly rushed to pick one or anything, and I know the process needs to come on a whim, but I feel frustrated when I go through a certain experience or meditation and I have no specific guide to call on to help me. But at the same time, it's nice to have a handful of different guides that I can pick through to try and see if they will aid me in my experiences. Arg! Just typing/talking that out is frustrating me!
Anyway, besides the whole "guide" issue, my spirituality has grown so much in the last few months. I went through a downtime earlier this year and over the summer. Over the summer, I had this intense calling to buy a Tarot deck, specifically the Osho Zen. I didn't want to spend the money on it because it was pretty expensive. My friend bought me the deck for my birthday back in September, and I wanted to cry I was so happy! I immediatly cleansed and charged the deck the next day, and sifted through the cards for them to catch my energy. And I have been pulling cards every single day since. I feel so spiritually connected to all of my cards that I have and it feels wonderful. It's like I constantly have sparks of energy flying out of my fingertips whenever I do a reading. It's really an amazing feeling and realization that I could have such a strong connection to source just from a deck of cards. How you'll get the same reading over and over until you actually listen and pay attention to it.
For instance, I haven't had the best of times this last month. A few heated arguments, a loss of connection, and just overall feeling bad. I kept pulling the "Sorrow" card from the deck and I got upset about it! No one likes getting a disappointing reading. It took alot of shuffling, re-dos, huffs and puffs to realize that I needed to meditate on this card and figure out WHY I kept pulling it. There's a reason why this keeps happening. And so, I did. And the card hasn't been dealt to me since. And it took those moments of upset and frustration to realize how connected I really am. Two days ago, I was hanging around outside and I noticed the Dogwood tree in my yard, and how beautiful it looked. The leaves just turned bright, fiery red. It got me thinking of the beautiful transformation that it goes through throughout the year. How it starts off haggard and leafless, then blooms into beautiful light pink petals with red berry-like blossoms, into a bright green flush of summer, then back into the fiery red decay before the next winter. I started thinking of how my life evolves and changes in the same way- how my life blossoms and decays, and goes through so many changes to the point where I don't even remember who I am. I finally am realizing that it's supposed to happen that way. I'm supposed to go through these changes and realizations in life. I'm supposed to learn from them and take them into the next cycle or journey. I want to take these experiences and helpful hints from nature and use them. I want to officially start my path as a healer and helper.
I know this is a long winded post, and it's probably boring the hell out of whoever is reading, but I needed to get it out. I'm not only posting in this blog to entertain others and to put myself out there for other people to find and relate to, but to also capture a timeline of spiritual awakening in my life. Anyway, I've been diving into creative projects like crazy now, and making some goals coming closer to being achieved. I'm going to buy some dreamcatcher supplies after work today, and try to do a tutorial for my YT channel within the next few days. I also bought three mini-sized composition notepads to journal my spiritual growth. One book is for card readings, one is for meditation journeys, and one will be a "grocery list" of things that I want to buy, or subjects to look more into, or things that I come across that I want to know more about, ect. I'm pretty excited about my new spiritual journey, and I finally feel a huge connection within myself. It's like that feeling when you're on vacation, and you wake up at noon, make yourself a cup of hot coffee and stare out into the ocean? How you feel so free and connected to your surroundings? Yeah, it's kind of like that. :)
Peace, love and light.
Anyway, besides the whole "guide" issue, my spirituality has grown so much in the last few months. I went through a downtime earlier this year and over the summer. Over the summer, I had this intense calling to buy a Tarot deck, specifically the Osho Zen. I didn't want to spend the money on it because it was pretty expensive. My friend bought me the deck for my birthday back in September, and I wanted to cry I was so happy! I immediatly cleansed and charged the deck the next day, and sifted through the cards for them to catch my energy. And I have been pulling cards every single day since. I feel so spiritually connected to all of my cards that I have and it feels wonderful. It's like I constantly have sparks of energy flying out of my fingertips whenever I do a reading. It's really an amazing feeling and realization that I could have such a strong connection to source just from a deck of cards. How you'll get the same reading over and over until you actually listen and pay attention to it.
For instance, I haven't had the best of times this last month. A few heated arguments, a loss of connection, and just overall feeling bad. I kept pulling the "Sorrow" card from the deck and I got upset about it! No one likes getting a disappointing reading. It took alot of shuffling, re-dos, huffs and puffs to realize that I needed to meditate on this card and figure out WHY I kept pulling it. There's a reason why this keeps happening. And so, I did. And the card hasn't been dealt to me since. And it took those moments of upset and frustration to realize how connected I really am. Two days ago, I was hanging around outside and I noticed the Dogwood tree in my yard, and how beautiful it looked. The leaves just turned bright, fiery red. It got me thinking of the beautiful transformation that it goes through throughout the year. How it starts off haggard and leafless, then blooms into beautiful light pink petals with red berry-like blossoms, into a bright green flush of summer, then back into the fiery red decay before the next winter. I started thinking of how my life evolves and changes in the same way- how my life blossoms and decays, and goes through so many changes to the point where I don't even remember who I am. I finally am realizing that it's supposed to happen that way. I'm supposed to go through these changes and realizations in life. I'm supposed to learn from them and take them into the next cycle or journey. I want to take these experiences and helpful hints from nature and use them. I want to officially start my path as a healer and helper.
I know this is a long winded post, and it's probably boring the hell out of whoever is reading, but I needed to get it out. I'm not only posting in this blog to entertain others and to put myself out there for other people to find and relate to, but to also capture a timeline of spiritual awakening in my life. Anyway, I've been diving into creative projects like crazy now, and making some goals coming closer to being achieved. I'm going to buy some dreamcatcher supplies after work today, and try to do a tutorial for my YT channel within the next few days. I also bought three mini-sized composition notepads to journal my spiritual growth. One book is for card readings, one is for meditation journeys, and one will be a "grocery list" of things that I want to buy, or subjects to look more into, or things that I come across that I want to know more about, ect. I'm pretty excited about my new spiritual journey, and I finally feel a huge connection within myself. It's like that feeling when you're on vacation, and you wake up at noon, make yourself a cup of hot coffee and stare out into the ocean? How you feel so free and connected to your surroundings? Yeah, it's kind of like that. :)
Peace, love and light.
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